Life Was Too Short, Too Brittle, To Keep Secrets And Live In Half-Truths
“Life was too short, too brittle, to keep secrets and live in half-truths. Even when we thought that we were protecting those we loved. Or protecting ourselves. Our hearts. Because the reality was that without honesty, without truth, we never lived fully.” — Elena Armas, The American Roommate Experiment
Do you ever pause and wonder what the real value of some of the goings on in this short and brittle life is? Do you ever stop to observe the number of hours you spend per week, mindlessly scrolling through your phone? What is the net value of that TikTok rabbit-hole? Why exactly do you go to church every Sunday or why don’t you? Have you really had an examination of these things? The ones that have nearly become second nature. Of what value are they really?
Precisely why, does your child attend that particular school?
What is the exact return on civil disobedience and active protest against established authority? or the lack thereof.
How impactful is your sugar intake on your body? Do you need all that sugar? Is it not counterproductive instead? What else are you eating? Do you know how it exactly affects your body? What is the net value of eating fries, and all that junk food? Do you ever stop and wonder?
Be indifferent to the things that make no difference, the Stoics caution.
Why don’t you spend 8 hours at the bar? or why do you? What is the actual value? Why do you watch that TV show? When did you last audit your music playlist? What is its net impact on your mental and spiritual wellbeing? Has the thought even ever crossed your mind? Do you ever stop and wonder? or is life simply passing you by. The bible says out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square. — Will you hearken?
The money you give to women? anyway…
This preamble has gone on for too long. I am not here to evoke an existential crisis or even bay for a lynching from the “girl child” but rather to share with you a moment that I lived this past week. Nonetheless, Life was too short, too brittle, to keep secrets and live in half-truths. — Lads and lasses, search for your full truths.
The universe “conspired” with other forces and thrust me Southwest into the Ankore district of Ibanda. A travel associate of mine was filled with nostalgia and euphoria when he was charged less than a dollar’s worth for a hair cut. — On another day I will tell you all about the Ankore folklore from Ibandulwa.
In the freezing valley that is Ibanda, seated besides a shanty and smoky meat roasting kitchen, sipping on firewood made tea and munching on crisp bacon, a conversation ensued and the supposed least amongst us, after imbibing the bitter, was the lead architect.
The nexus of his argument was a philosophical question hinged on the net value of making monetary contributions to members of whichever society one belongs to. — He is a very assertive traditional African man, so you can guess where this is going.
Very firm he was in his argument that he schooled us on who a friend ought to be. “Simply saying hello and calling one by the first name or sharing an employer does not make one a friend. You can not claim to be my friend if you have never visited my home,” he declared. You can’t claim to know me, he went on. — I suspect that is straight out of the ethos of Ankore culture.
He argued that there was no real value in contributing to trivial causes like small medical bills for an individual who even has a medical insurance cover and is not exactly a close friend, let alone a friend at all, but only a colleague.
So unrelenting was he with his tirade that he even reminded us of a time when he was taken ill to the point of being admitted to intensive care unit but not a single dollar was solicited from us the colleagues. He managed as a man with his family. He was not so kind at this point, he was tiddly and went on to list his peers that had sought financial support for lesser illnesses.
You may dismiss him as a stingy, bitter, old, conservative man, but he has reached that elevation where he really cares less what you and I think. He has asked himself the pertinent questions. He has sought for the net value of all things, and it has all boiled down to quality friendships and sound financial decisions.
Make no mistake, he is no stingy man. He may be stern and firm in his approach to life but he is also kind and respectful. The gentleman intimated to us the financial contributions he has made without having to go public about them. He also narrated when he had a meal with one of his bosses, he pulled out a 50k shillings note to pay the bill and the boss also pulled out the same. In bewilderment, he instead offered to clear the bill. There was no motivation to lie because all he said was verifiable. By the way, the bill for the crispy bacon we had was cleared by him. I deviate? Maybe not.
I have my disagreements with the man and that adds more value to this publication. I am an ardent reader of the bible and it tells me that it is more blessed to give than to receive and that if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.
Verily I say unto you, in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me, says the Lord.
However, I still partially agree with my colleague's tirade. Context matters. I am also a student of Stoicism and temperance is one of the main tenets of the the philosophy.
What is the net value of the things we do? Is it out of compulsion or conviction? Why do we do them for some and not others? Is it discrimination or levels of attachment?
Search the full truths ladies and gentlemen. Life Was Too Short, Too Brittle, To Keep Secrets And Live In Half-Truths…
The tirade veered off into the net value of marriage, how men are getting a raw deal. Clear that cringe on your face, I promise I won’t get into that. Our friend here also narrated how one of his bosses told off his barber for attempting to add him to a church fundraising WhatsApp group. We spoke well into the dead of the night and even over lunch the following day. I would need more than this column to unpack the entire conversation.
…Because the reality was that without honesty, without truth, we never lived fully.”
Until next week, friends and foes. Cheers.
ThE LAst TeSO cHieF
