In The End, It’s Not The Years In Your Life That Count. It’s The Life In Your Years

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Last month I turned 33. Believe it or not, the 3rd floor is the decade when the body starts to give way, the warning signs are going off and if my contemporaries and I don’t act quickly and decisively on matters pertaining to physical and mental health, then there will be a steep price to pay in the not-so-far-off future when the chicken come home to roost.

I can feel the tension rising, so I will steer clear of the future health scares and stick to the present for now.

If unlike me, you are a believer in Zodiac signs, wishing stars, angel numbers, and the like, then I will be glad to have you know that according to tinyrituals.co, the dual number 33 means that anything is possible. According to the website, the powerful angel number is also known as a master number because of its double digits mirroring each other and its powerful vibrations. The number 33 is linked to themes around creative thinking, deep compassion, spiritual-level connections, discipline, and bravery. And so forth goes the website. Until I attempted to write about my new age, I had no idea the phenomenon of angel numbers existed. Oh, the concepts one learns from the World Wide Web.

To add a bit more mystery, Jesus, the Christ, is believed to have died at the age of 33, a single incident that is responsible for the faith of 31.6% of the world’s population. Put in simpler terms, about 2.5 billion people. To bring it even further home, that is close to twice the number of people on the face of the entire African Continent.

Had I been a manipulative and greedy evangelist in one of those shanty neighbourhoods, I would now be halfway past bellowing parallels between my new age and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and in pseudo abandon, prophesying that the flock will henceforth, together with the shepherd, have a whole new and fresh dawn in all spheres of their lives. Blossoming relationships, businesses, careers, et al.

For all of our sakes, we thank God I am none of all that. Make no mistake, I am a believer. But I am also a little wiser. After 33 years of treading this earth, permit me to share with you some of the lessons learned, 33 of them.

1. Get up early, do the hard tasks first, break them down into smaller and more manageable portions. Do not shorten the morning by getting up late, or waste it in unworthy occupations or in talk; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent, sacred.
2. Death is not a stationary event that lies off in the distant future. It is a process, it is happening to us right now. We are dying every day. Even as you read this blog, time is passing that you will never get back. That time belongs to death. The solution is to live while we can, and put nothing off. Leave nothing unfinished. Seize it while it still belongs to us.
3. We’re all bad in someone’s story: When you show yourself to the world and display your talents, you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity but you can not spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others.
4. Be yourself, the world will adjust.
5. Whatever you do, over-deliver.
6. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, wear a gratifying fragrance, and show up. You are seen long before you are heard. First impressions last.
7. Instead of fighting the world, kill your ego.
8. The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is today. Essentially, it is never too late to do the right thing. No matter how far off you are on the wrong path, turning around is always way better than continuing on the wrong path.
9. If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct thyself, if it be a lie, laugh at it.
10. Happiness is created, the fulfilment is in the process. There’s no destination called happiness. Enjoy the thrill of the ride because from it all, flow the very essences of happiness.
11. Choose your hard. You either quit or keep going, they both hurt. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret, the choice is really yours. Everyone wants to be a “beast” until it’s time to do what “beasts” do. There are no shortcuts; a fit body, a healthy mind, a loving family, a great career, etc, are all results of dedicated and consistent hard work.
12. In life, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate. Being a bad communicator can really ruin a lot of opportunities for you. The world makes way for the talkers. Knowing what to say and how to say it can get you nearly everything you desire.
13. Life may not be the party we all hoped for but while we are here, we might as well dance.
14. Talk is cheap. Anyone can talk a big game. Believing in yourself is overrated, generate evidence.
15. Draw boundaries as a giver because the takers have none. At first, it is gratitude, anticipation, then comes expectation, followed by entitlement, dependency, and finally hatred/resentment.
16. It’s not what happens to you that matters most but how you react. The Stoic advice to “seek the good in everything that happens” may sound fanciful, but isn’t it still worth trying consistently for the positive changes it may promote?
17. Those we love don’t know how inaccessible we are to other people until they become other people — and that goes for us too.
18. Let people do what they wanna do, so you see what they’d rather do. That’ll answer all the questions.
19. Consistency is not perfection. It is showing up continually despite intermittent shortcomings.
20. Love is never wasted for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.
21. Polygamy almost always ends in chaos.
22. A marriage ceremony is certainly not an achievement, however, — before you all ask for my head — a successful marriage in the genuine sense of the phrase, truly is an achievement.
23. Always pick up phone calls. Tell a little white lie if you must but always pick up. Someone could be breathing their last, another could need a dollar to keep them from starving to death, it could be an offer of a lifetime, or simply that random relative from the village calling you right in the middle of a business day just to say they were only saying hello. Another reminder not to take life too seriously. All in all, always pick up.
24. Do not build fortresses to protect yourself — Isolation is Dangerous. Never isolate yourself when you come under pressure. This just cuts you off from the information you need and people who could help you, and when real danger arises you won’t see it coming. Instead, make a point of being outgoing. Contact with others increases your power. Isolation is dangerous.
25. Don’t think too highly of yourself. Toli wa kitalo nyo nga gwe bwolowooza. However, don’t suffer inferiority complex either.
26. Take advantage of your advantages. Make no apologies. If you are born into privilege or by some good fortune you toiled your way to the very top of the pyramid, exploit whatever good cards the universe deals you. Provided you don’t steal, kill, cheat, or lie.
27. Certainty is a myth. Life owes you absolutely nothing. Not a healthy back, not good weather, not money, not an understanding landlord, not high-value friendships, not the spouse of your dreams, not even loving parents, nothing! Be extremely grateful for whatever good that comes your way.
28. Comparison is a thief of joy.
29. There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.
30. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
31. We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.
32. Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it. While it lies there it needs no constitution, no law, no court, to save it.
33. But if you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.

Bonus

I. No one is going to stand up at your funeral and say: “He f@#*%d like a wildebeest and had the best golf swing I’ve ever seen.” Life is about loving people, not impressing them.

II. Whatever disagreements you may have with those above you; be it parents, bosses, lecturers, or elders, maintain a firm level of respect as you express your ideas.

III. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Credit: Schopenhauer, Stoicism, anonymous memes, Google, Robert Greene, Rumi, Chinese Proverbs, Epictetus, a modern poet, C.S Lewis, James Bovard, James Baldwin, Judge Learned Hand, Rollo May, Seneca, Ryan Holiday, Mark Manson, Jeanne C. Stein. Gertrude Stein, Jim Rohn, Krishna Sagar, Abraham Lincoln, Eric Thomas.

ThE LAst TeSO cHieF